I have a history of girls cheating on me. It’s happened on three different occasions with girls I thought I could trust. I have been seeing a really nice woman for a year now. She knows I’m paranoid about trusting women, but I think I trust her, though I still feel like I need a proof. I have picked up her mobile a few times to look at it. Recently, I was tempted to check her messages when she left her e-mail open on her computer, but something stopped me. I can’t decide whether it’s better to know or not to know if she is doing something behind my back. I’d never forgive her if this happened and I doubt I’d never give another woman another chance. I honestly don’t know how to get back my sense of trust. Can you help?
REPLY Fidelis, HERE
Dear Fidelis, Snooping around is certainly not the way to do it. Once someone starts snooping on a partner, they’ve broken the privacy understanding that exists between couples. Your problem is a bit ominons. You’re already suspicious and will read all sorts into anything and everything. For now, you need to assume your partner is innocent until you see definite signs she’s up to something. Let her know you’re adopting this new attitude. It’s in your interest as a normally suspicious person not to know about harmless flirtations – not even a one-night stand that meant nothing! You need to loosen up and have a chat with a few of your friends who might give you a word or two of wisdom.
